The Lost Writings of Jude O'Connor - 14

The agenda for artists in the 21st century is consolidation. I came by this information in the most natural and sincere fashion: It was revealed to me in a dream. I never question the validity of vision, even if all reason speaks against it. There are still things that can only be apprehended by faith alone.

You may not believe it, my brothers and sisters, but I too allowed myself to be ruined by narrow-thinking and ignorance. Long ago, I fought against the forces that formed me to define what I believed to be "artistic fraternity". As a consequence, my writing is both vindication and confession. Vindication in the sense that I have composed in honour of this 'artistic fraternity' - whatever it may be - to reveal the path back to the inspiration which unites us all. My confession is of my selfishness, my hubris in believing that I alone possessed enough insight to guide you to understanding, my brothers and sisters. 

So in desiring your comprehension, I was only confused, and my words were scattered to the wind. And in trying to bring us together, I succeeded only in separating us further. Finally, I was consumed with the notion that I had done right, only I had done it too soon, and the value of my message had been lost to all, forever. I had set myself too high above only to realize I was six-feet-under. And desperation wrought despair. And despair wrought death.

But death could only love me for so long and then she was obliged to return to her duties between this world and the next.

And so I woke, and began to design a method by which I could be of service to my kin and neighbours. Even though I was not yet fully alive; indeed, I was not even born yet, the germ of an idea was conceived within me and in due course, it is the thing that gave me life.

The way has been long and treacherous, the record of it is the words you see before you. In trying to be more than human, I became less. Now I am beginning to remember that there is a life before and a life after. My meaning is my duty, and my duty is to art.